MY RULES FOR HAVING THE “THE TALK”:1. Do not have “the talk” on the first date. No matter how hot the person is and how much you might want to have sex with them. Go home and take a cold shower!
2. Do not have “the talk” when your clothes are already off and one of you is reaching for a condom. This rarely ends well.
3. If at all possible, try to work it into the conversation naturally.
4. No matter how nervous you are play it cool! The other person’s reaction will be gauged on your delivery. Practice saying it in the mirror, do whatever it takes to be ready to deliver the news in a calm, casual way.
5. Be prepared! I made my own Q & A script which I have attached to this post. The questions are based on questions I have received during “the talk”. Some of the answers are specific for myself, so if you chose to use my script (please do!) you will need to make some adjustments. You can either have the script with you when you tell someone or you could hand it to him or her at the end of a date.
6. Be ready for rejection. Sorry! It’s the truth. When I was younger, I wasn’t always honest with men before becoming intimate with them. In my experience, men are better able to deal with my HSV if I tell them after we’ve had sex. I honestly think it’s because they get the chance to see there is nothing weird going on down there! So, in some ways that may be the easy way out. On the other hand, I have been rejected several times when I have been honest and told the men before having sex. Being honest is not the easy way out, but it is the right thing to do.
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